Life Revealed: Letting Go of The “Get” Mentality

It’s been quite awhile since I posted something non-cat related so I thought I would share a short excerpt from my upcoming book, Life Revealed:Letting Go of The “Get” Mentality. Which explores moving through life with ease rather than struggling and getting to your goals (if you’re lucky!) sweaty, exhausted and completely cranky! Enjoy!

Life Revealed: Letting Go of  The”Get” Mentality

Triple AAA plus One Method of Moving to Ease

Why Triple AAA plus One? Because Quad A sounds funny and besides this isn’t published yet so it could change.

Nope, this is not about your car or your flat tires unless we’re going with a metaphor and then yes it is! Cars are bad metaphors though so let’s just get to talking about that recurrent pattern in your life. Or the place where you’re  stuck grinding the same gear in your head until you go mad…oh wait that’s a car metaphor. Never mind, you know what I mean! You want some change and we’re not talking about 4 quarters for a dollar, dollar bill, y’all.

Nothing moves out of your energy until it’s accepted. Nothing. We keep meeting the same person with a different face. We change jobs and find the same boss waiting for us behind a new desk. We move across the country and the loneliness hides inside of a moving box and comes sneaking out in the dark to reattach itself.

How do we stop the madness when the emotions come flooding in all over again?

  1. Acknowledge

Say it out loud “Here we go again!”. Here I am again fighting this same damn battle. I feel that familiar bad feeling that sends me running into the arms of Ben and Jerry but not this time. I’m determined to change my patterns or die trying. I’m going to really feel it – Emotion X.  I am not going to talk about it with 5 people on the phone, not post about it on Facebook, not intellectually discuss it with clever words and endless analysis. No.

This time I will feel it as fully as I can and if that lasts 15 minutes and I have to go diving for a donut or binge watch a series on Netflix to stop the pain, fine. However this time I will break the cycle and return to it. I commit to experiencing it again and again until I stop making myself wrong for feeling what I feel at which point, seemingly by magic, I’ll have found I’m nearing Acceptance.

  1. Accept

Accepting a feeling means there are no more good vs bad labels, there’s no resistance to it no matter how petty or childish you once thought it was. You’ve looked at your story about it and decided to let go of that need to tell a story at all. You find a natural compassion rises up in your heart and you understand entirely the beauty in even our so called bad feelings. You see it all with Love. You understand it really is a wave, in and out, in and out and you allow it to be as petty and childish and hurty as it wants to be.

  1. Activate

Now that you are completely at ease you are in the best space possible to activate what you would like to feel more, what you would like to have more of in your experience both internal and external. You’ve heard this referred to as “finding the feeling place of it”, Esther Hicks, “finding the feeling tone” Sanaya Roman and Core Desire Feelings by Danielle LaPorte which is my favorite method and one I’m licensed to facilitate the process of exploring. It’s joy incarnate to move through life this way.

Once you determine the feeling place of what you would like, let’s say, a partner or companion to experience the world alongside then you do whatever you can to activate that in your energy. You remember a time when you felt in love, loved, loving, Love, anything you can recall or imagine so that you are expressing love all over the place.

Now let go…seriously drop it. Go wash the dishes, take the dog for a walk, binge  on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt with your friend Netflix, do anything to be present in your life while all the components line up to reveal Love to you in the form you imagined or possibly in a form you could never have and is even better than, you could have imagined!

  1. Action (Inspired)

In this state, you’ve gone through the process and are in your life feeling great if there is an action to take you will be inspired to do it. Often you will think: “Oh I should take this action because it will move me closer to my goal!”. No. Stop it. That type of “get” thought is a sure sign action A B or C is not inspired by Love but rather an ego driven action that has that funny smell of a hidden agenda in it!

Inspired action usually is you moving into action without a thought indentifying it as moving in to action. You’re washing dishes, the phone rings with an opportunity and you answer, unless you’re an introvert then you let it go to voicemail and wait a few days to check the message hoping they’ll text or email you instead! Seriously though you are offered opportunities that you find yourself saying yes to without a second thought. This leads you to a new project which leads to increased satisfaction and flow in our life and probably you find the love of your life mixed in there somewhere however you’re so happy it all just happens naturally without effort and generally exceeds your expectations. And if the love of your life happens not to be there you are still enjoying flowing the energy of stars through your veins and into the world blessing yourself and everyone around you. When you’re in that state of expression who do you imagine is going to be the most attractive person in the room? You baby that’s who!

You apply this same process over and over again. Decide how you want to feel when you attain the goal, skip the middleman and feel that way now!

Now for the YAY! Awwww…news.

When you declare a feeling place that is far away from where you generally are now things can get pretty squirrely. Let’s say most days you are getting by on coffee and cigarettes and trying to decide if you should get Botox to fluff out the brick prints in your forehead from trying to solve unsolvable issues and then you decide, “Hey! Enough of this bullshit I want to feel Connected and Free!” YAY!

So you think about the times you felt that way and you maybe make an essence (vision) board but using images that support this feeling. You reach way back into your history and you really pull forward this feeling. You feel awesome! You start to wake in the morning with a sense of curiosity rather than dread. You drop a few pounds as if by magic!  As you focus into maintaining your new state of energy every belief that doesn’t support it will come floating to the top like well…let’s just say get ready for the smack down. Awwww…

You aren’t getting smacked as punishment for being happy, no! Too many people interpret this stage as punishment and stop when it’s really the natural order of setting yourself free. You’re not doing something wrong, you’re doing everything right which means everything wrong needs to be addressed by those Triple AAA plus 1 instructions. You ARE getting to see exactly why you weren’t allowing yourself to feel those things for so long. All those old stories, beliefs and excuses come by knocking on your door. Only they don’t knock! They aren’t civilized at all.

They come barging in and knock shit over like a cat at 2am on the pottery shelf. The Frankoma pottery shelf I might add! Those unruly frat boys are making one helluva mess. Stuff is flying through the air, it’s anarchy, dogs and cats are living together! (apologies to Bill Murray) it’s not pretty and guess what? Your Soul really wants, needs, this mess and so do you!

It can look like sudden arguments with people you don’t usually argue with, it can look like weird traffic jams, getting the slowest cashier ever so moving to the visibly fast cashier only to see her visibly slow down right as you get up to her and outbursts of emotion. It can look like your boss really coming down on you in a way that makes you want to pack your desk up and walk right out. My dear friend Bev calls this “The Squirrel Effect”. You’re doing just fine then accidentally run over a squirrel and end up hysterical in your car unable to drive, unable to stop crying and basically losing your shit.

Don’t make any life changing decisions at this point. Definitely don’t act on anything that feels like a compulsion such as you just “have” to go scream at your boss. Do trust the process might be something you haven’t experienced before. Do pray or call upon help using whatever method works for you. I like the style of prayer which involves screaming for help at the top of my lungs to All That Is similar to the way a toddler screams when she gets stranded on the dining room table not realizing that she can go back down the way she got up there in the first place.

Take a look at things from a higher perspective and starting asking that most magical of questions: How can I see this differently? Then stand back and watch. Get still and listen. Approach all this from a scientific researcher point of view as in, “Hmm well I was getting through life by letting everyone walk on me and then I decided to be happy and shit hit the fan. Wonder what this is all about?”

The answers will come.

Answers sound like hearing a conversation behind you at Starbuck’s that’s so exactly what you need to hear that you mess up your order to the Barista and end up with a venti Liquid Diabetes plus Extra Whip when you wanted plain black drip.

Answers sound like a bit of song that won’t leave your mind and when analyzed is your answer. I’m not talking about, It’s A Small World, kind of song, that’s just an obnoxious ear worm which thanks to me you’ll be haunted by now for hours. You’re welcome. It’s like wondering what to do to handle a touchy cat situation and hearing The Offspring’s “Come Out and Play (Gotta Keep ‘Em Separated)” song for a couple of days.

It’s hearing a song that reminds you of a time when you heard someone tell you that you couldn’t do anything right. You now see how your limiting beliefs came into existence and became a strand in the ropes that bind you.

Answers look like a book falling off the shelf on your foot and opening it to just the right page for a light bulb to go off in your head.

Answers are weird dreams that won’t leave you alone until the meaning slowly comes clear and you understand that it’s all a story and you are the author.

Sounds fruity I know but trust me, it works. Actually don’t trust me! You don’t know me, don’t trust a random stranger for Pete’s sake! Try it yourself and see what happens. Just be sure to contact me and let me know I was right ok? I like those kind of emails!

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Posted in Catification, Coaching, Desire Map, Relationships, Self-Care.

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